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          一紙婚書,情感知多少

          作者:飄落紅塵笑如煙 來源:文章閱讀網 時間:2016-07-18 16:30 閱讀:

            吃罷晚飯,正要收拾碗筷,樓下突然傳來激烈的爭吵聲。仔細聽聽,原來是兩口子準備離婚。為孩子,房子,車子和存款達不成最終分割的統一意見而大戰馬路。絲毫不顧及路人的眼光和哭的撕心裂肺的孩子。

             離婚,在這個物欲日益膨脹的社會,已經不是什么新鮮事。離婚的理由也是五花八門,只要婚姻中有一方,想要退出婚姻的圍城,圍城的墻壁上隨時都可以找到一個可以鉆出去的洞口。一個芝麻綠豆的事態,也會被人用心良苦的大肆宣揚,無限的擴大,直到另一方妥協,被吹大的肥皂泡泡才會破滅,才會息事寧人。

             無形的洪荒之力,把應有的責任心沖打的潰不成軍,霓虹燈飄渺的光影下,一顆心越來越虛浮。忍耐的底線越來越高,包容的尺度越來越小,關懷的甜點越來越少。越來越多的與時俱進的學會了自私自利的享受,把自己高高在上的放在心中無可替代的位置。愛,成了一個人的獨角戲,不再分享與共。

             莊嚴神圣的大紅色結婚證書,漸漸的褪去了它的終身制和不可侵犯的尊嚴,變成了可以隨意調換的商品,不再用“從一而終”的心態去呵護它,守衛它。閃婚,閃離,踏著快節奏的生活旋律,走著快節奏的步伐,新生代的名詞在一閃過后,鋪天蓋地的流行起來。

             一只剛出爐的面包,在適宜的溫度下有三天的壽命,若放在高溫潮濕的地方,能隔夜不發霉,就很不錯了。采摘下一只健康的蘋果,在妥善的保存下要半年才能脫水干癟或者是腐爛。若放在桌上置若罔聞,頂多采摘下來一個月,外觀就讓人不忍直視。它們壽命的長短,不在乎是否劣質,而是沒有正確的,穩妥的,用心的去呵護。

             愛情也一樣,需要妥善的保管才能讓它的生命力發揮到極致。攜手走入婚姻圍城的倆個人,不管初遇時的心動多么激烈,若是不好好的用心供養愛情的玫瑰花園,保鮮期會提前,會在凋零之后發霉腐爛。不管貧富與否,愛情里從來不缺少浪漫,缺少的是把激情正確的轉化為親情的方向,讓兩顆心,不僅僅是你裝著我,我裝著你,還默契的裝著我們對未來的打算和珍藏一路共有的記憶。

             婚姻,不是用來捆綁感情的,而是責任的升級。有感情的人不一定非要結婚,但結了婚就一定要負起責任。組建起這個家庭的男人和女人,不再是單純的個體,而是既能自由活動又能互相約束的結合體。同在一個屋檐下,共同打造一個家,而這個“家”質量的好壞,能不能長久的使用,和遭遇風雨時能不能得到妥善的維護,是要兩個人齊心協力去付出的。

             好的婚姻,都是用心經營出來的。一份呵護打造一份和諧,一份容忍收獲一份安穩,一份付出得到一份明媚。經營的陽光和絢,鳥語花香的家,不管涉入塵世的心有多疲憊,邁進家門的那一刻,輕松宜人的氛圍都會把心靈上的塵埃輕輕的拂去。一句暖心的話,一杯喜歡的茶,在日復一日的簡單中,讓純真的感情愈發的濃厚。

             溫暖心靈的不是暖氣,拂去煩躁的不是空調,而是一份懂得與體貼。能夠拴住一顆心的不是容貌與身材,也不是地位與身價,而是另一顆心的內涵。兩情相悅,四壁透風的草房,也會被內在的幸福填滿。家是心靈的港灣,是靈魂棲息的地方。不需要奢華,卻一定要舒適。

             婚姻的靈魂是感情,一個沒有好好維系感情的婚姻就是一個空殼,無論裝潢多么的奢侈華麗,都會在風雨中不堪一擊。每天,細膩的感受愛人的一顰一笑,適時的調節自己心情,轉換自己的思想。用心的接受身邊人的悲與歡,對與錯的同時,也坦誠的對身邊人敞開自己心扉,把自己的苦與樂,陰與晴用恰當的方式傾訴與愛人。

             交流,是讓愛情長久不可或缺的方式之一。有些顧慮,說出來,心結會輕輕的打開。有些矛盾,說到明處,干戈就會化為玉帛。有些苦衷,說出來,緊蹙的眉頭就會云淡風輕。愛人也是人,不會未卜先知,也不會能掐會算,有些話,不說,就失去了讓TA懂得的機會。即便不懂,TA還可以問,你還可以解釋。

             夫妻關系和任何一種關系都不一樣。手足之情,朋友之情,都是真摯的,甚至我們可以拿命去換,可真的某天利益當頭,還是會掂量下輕重,考慮一下是否可行。夫妻的利益不分孰重孰輕,一榮俱榮,一損俱損,沒有彼此之分,沒有勝敗之說,確切的說,彼此之間的任何事態,都沒有什么利益或是損失可以是單對某一方的。

             這樣的兩個人,沒有理由不相互敞開心扉,掏出肺腑。在為事業打拼的空閑時,在煙熏火燎的罅隙里,背靠著背,對著一窗新月,把柔軟的心敞開,聽聽愛人的心,也讓愛人聽聽自己的心。用自己溫柔的體貼縫補愛人闖蕩在外留下的傷口,而自己在人際中的憋屈也讓愛人用TA的細膩溫情融化。

             最好的婚姻,不是郎才女貌,門當戶對,而是無才無貌,門不當戶不對的兩個人,彼此在乎,彼此珍惜,彼此忍讓,彼此奉獻,因為心中真摯的愛,粗茶淡飯才會在唇齒間留香,粗布衣衫才能穿出眼中旖旎的風景。

             能夠走進婚姻的殿堂,無外乎是一見傾心或是日久生情。只是那個當初怦然心動的人在柴米油鹽中黯然了色彩。當青蛙王子天天為生活奔波的時候,他的帥氣和體貼難免打些折扣;當白雪公主時時為生活操碎了心的時候,她的賢淑與溫柔難免遺失些許。不要抱怨婚前與婚后的TA判若兩人,能夠改變對方的因素大部分是自己造成的。

             作為一個男人若能頂天立地的為愛人撐起一片晴空,用關懷和呵護讓她無憂無慮如少女般生活在溫馨的搖籃里,被愛情滋潤的她會更加可愛,比婚前有過之而無不及。沒有哪個女人愿意做怨婦,心情舒暢的女人會把鍋碗瓢盆的協奏曲彈奏的很美妙,雖比不了天籟之音,卻也能讓人流連忘返。

             做為一個女人若能用一個賢妻良母的溫婉為愛人解去后顧之憂,用體貼和善解人意讓他能夠放手自己的事業,被愛情澆灌的他會更加成熟穩重,用全身心去為家打拼。沒有哪個男人愿意把家庭當作戰場,溫暖舒適的小窩會讓他樂此不彼的為家人系上圍裙,用一粥一飯誘惑愛人的味蕾,溫暖愛人的心扉。

             生活的快節奏,社會的高強度壓力,免不了會有心理上的壓抑需要用發泄來緩解。而發泄的方式有很多種,有人酗酒,有人玩命工作,有人大發雷霆,喋喋不休的抱怨,只有少數明智的人,才會對著愛人,娓娓道出自己的感覺。甘苦與共的另一半,也有自己的獨立的思想,有時候TA會無法接受你的緩解的方式。勺子碰到鍋沿時,恰當的退一步,給枕邊人一份包容,一份體諒和一分鐘的解釋。

             細膩的愛情會擦去在塵世中跋涉而蒙塵的心,會修復在風吹雨打中道道傷痕,會營養在外應酬疲憊而枯燥的心。好的愛情是婚姻的潤滑劑,在不斷的注入下,婚姻會永遠的和諧美好。“百年修得同船渡,千年修得共枕眠。”雖然我不相信前世來生的說法,相信人只是個一次性的肉體,用完之后,就會回歸自然的垃圾場。但在千千萬萬的人之中,能夠遇見真的不容易,應該用生命珍惜這份來之不易的緣分

             兩個人在一起,同在一個屋檐下,并駕齊驅,沒有高低貴賤之分,沒有聰明笨傻之分。在日久的相濡以沫里,習慣慢慢融合,性格慢慢互補,愛的激情慢慢升華成血脈相連的親情。愛與情,不僅僅是左手牽右手的浪漫,更是息息相通的心與肺;不僅僅是心甘情愿的做另一半的拐杖,更愿意做TA的眼,TA的嘴,TA的一切的一切……

            文:董金梅 筆名:飄落紅塵笑如煙


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